Seriously?

Sorry for my absence in the past months I had to work on my real job... life happens - oh well.  The Tianzi hotel in China is a good reason to come back though! Take a look at this SHIT! I have a hard time talking my clients into doing things like having a slightly more contemporary building by having cleaner lines or simple forms - this talented architect actually talked his client into building giant China Men to sleep in! This is a hotel!  I just love to think of the conversations that took place in the architects office when they first presented this idea - "Yes it is genius -the diagram will  be so simple, we can put the business suites in the heads and we all know where the service core will go"  and the bank actually financed it! Now if this can get built that leaves the rest of us NO EXCUSES! As this project has proven - where there is a will there is a way :)

You have to ask the question - Is there a garbage shoot?  is it where you would think?  Lets look at the back of the building.... ahh too bad these little men are whereing such modest clothes, no defined wedgie to help us out here... Do you think they have funny names for the floors such as the shoulder level, or check in at left foot number 2.  WHO BUILT THIS SHIT?

Phantom of Doom

This is AWESOME... They tried to build this shit but it didn't work.  This is a hotel in Pyongyang, North Korea apparently it was never finished and has sat there as an eyesore since the 80's. I LOVE THIS!!!

"In 1987, Baikdoosan Architects and Engineers put its first shovel into the ground and more than twenty years later, after North Korea poured more than two percent of its gross domestic product to building this monster, the hotel remains unoccupied, unopened, and unfinished."

You have to read the whole story that was in esquire here.  The best part about this building are all these renderings I found online, people love this building obviously ha ha ha ha!  Who TRIES to Build this SHIT!

This video is even better:



As Esquire so elegantly puts it: "The Demolition S How video by the Italian architects Extraneo might not be as conceptual as Ryugyong.org, but this piece of architectural porn sure is fun to watch. The video (which you can watch above) was mounted as part of the exhibition Fiction Pyongyang, curated in part by Stefano Boeri, who also collected 120 speculative designs for the hotel in the June 2006 domus magazine. The designs, he says, "have forced it to reveal its icy nature, its irresistible fascination as a fragile alien meteorite." The worst building in the world is also, we now know, "the only built piece of science fiction in the contemporary world." And it's true. Demolition S How is all Blade Runner-style flying ads and soaring concrete, and the video reminds us that the worst building in the world is the closest humans have come to building a Death Star."

Wal-Mart Distribution!

Ever wonder what is bigger than a wal-mart or a super wal-mart?  The wal-mart distribution center of central texas.... you could house a small country in this building.  My camera couldn't even fit the entire building into the shot.   Remember the scene in the Raiders of the Lost Arc when they are filing away the Arc of the covenant into the secret government big box that goes on and on and on filled with all the mysteries of the world... this building is filled with all the mysteries of consumption! Who Builds this shit? oh yah - CHINA! I bet this building is even prefab from China and is just as disposable as the crap that it houses.  Who buys this shit!

Transformer Building?

 

I have loved this building for a long time. I jest.  I really just wish I can catch it transforming! I know for a fact that when you are not watching it transforms into a robot and walks around the suburbs searching for a Walmart big box to dance with... This image is a bit blurry but the white material is actually marble it is some kind of Po-Mo classical interpretation, in theory the president of the company sits in the golden seat behind the "face"...  why do people feel the need to add makeup to a building? why do you need to dress it up with geometric patterns - the 80s motif is not a classic one folks - Maybe the architects thought it would transform into a better looking building? We can only hope! Who builds this SHIT!

Holy Big Box Batman!

I am agnostic. Which means I believe there is  "God" out there I just don't believe in organized Religion.  When you go to Europe though, the Cathedrals are so beautiful and inspiring you can't help but believe, that is how they were designed to inspire awe, to draw your eye up and make you feel something inside. This is just sad.  I am not one to mess with people's religions, so please don't get mad I am only speaking about the building - GHHEHEEEEEZZZZ It's not like parishioners are approaching on donkeys anymore granted, they are driving 75 on a freeway, but come on! Can't the building be inspirational AT ALL? While European cathedrals inspire holiness this just makes me think of Walmart the big box religion of America. And like Walmart this building just promotes the ideal that bigger is better - I would argue for quality over quantity doesn't a house of God deserve that at least.  Who Builds This Shit?

World Expo USA Pavilion? So Sad...

This is a rendering of the USA Pavilion for the Shanghai World Expo.  This was submitted to us from a concerned reader.  They were concerned for the following reasons:
1. This USA Pavilion was designed by a Canadian Architect.  We love our Canadian neighbors but this is the USA pavilion - shouldn't it be designed by a USA architect?
2. Other country pavilions are so much cooler! Expo's should be a place where the best of the best is shown... such a missed opportunity.  Check it out!

I dont know what I am looking at, but these two structures are FREAKING COOL! Why is the USA Pavilion at the top of the page so LAME! Obviously, this is not a case of architects having clients that lacked vision - the USA Pavilion is a case of an American developer who somehow got the contract that only had a vision of cash! That's the only excuse I can think of...

Who builds this shit!

Who Built This SHITTER?

Nothing says welcome like entering through a GIANT SHITTER! As one of our readers so elegantly put it: "Some people call it the toilet seat building, some people call it a stargate.  Whatever it is, it makes me cringe everytime I see it."  Is it a billboard or is it a duck - Venturi would ask -  Maybe it is the the Kimberly-Clark headquarters and it is really a duck.  Though we have to explore the Stargate alien angle as well.  Maybe aliens are following suit from Men in Black and hiding their spaceships in the last place we would look, right under our noses.  In that case maybe this building will just disappear one day! Who Built This Shitter?

Architect Jailed For Ugly Building

 Funny but no - the Architect was not jailed for having designed such an ugly building but rather for sending fake bills to the county for the design services! unbelievable...i cant make this stuff up! a bad designer and a thief - the funny thing about this building is the dome (one of the funny things)... They tilt their hats to the New Mexico culture by making the building brown, they use some local stone, square everything up and then put a DOME on top of it! come on guys just because it is a federal building DOES NOT MEAN IT NEEDS A DOME! They tried to cover the building up after the fact by getting the biggest flag they could find but it wouldn't cover much. Who Builds This Shit!

Classical Office Building Revival

I have a little pocket book called "The Observers Guide to Architecture" Its a beautiful little book meant to help people interpret and understand the architectural elements they see while out and about.  I decided to turn to my book to help me interpret this building since it appears to have classical elements.  According to my little book the windows in the tower portion are reminiscent of the Early English Period whereby, and I quote :  "The desirability of making some sort of hood to prevent driving rain from running down the face of the building into the window was realized, and this gave the builders the idea of coupling the groups of windows together and finally of punching holes through the blank spaces left between the hood mouldings and the lancets."  It would seem that the modern interpretation of this notion is to NOT EVEN PUNCH the openings! Genius - by not having openings in the wall and leaving them all bricked up the architect has successfully avoided the problem of rain entering the building.  Who builds this Shit?

Who Built This SHIT?

This blog is dedicated to all the good architects (or folks who think they are good) out there who for whatever reason are unable to create their architectural masterpieces and who spend day after day PISSED OFF to see CRAP being built ALL AROUND THEM!!! Who Builds this SHIT?