This blog is dedicated to all the good architects (or folks who think they are good) out there who for whatever reason are unable to create their architectural masterpieces and who spend day after day PISSED OFF to see CRAP being built ALL AROUND THEM!!! Who Builds this SHIT?
Shit man! and I thought if I went into residential architecture I wouldn't get to work on big projects - HA take a look at what the 4th richest many in the world built for himself in downtown Mumbai. How do you do laundry in a house like this....oh yah - you don't, you are rich you don't DO anything but make money from your money.... and play with buildings as if they are tinker toys! Aren't you dying to know the value of this Home? 1 billion dollars! Even Dr. Evil drools over this one. Let me say that again with gusto.... 1,000,000,000 DOLLARS.... man gotta love excess... okay you don't... HEY RICH DUDE!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU COULD HAVE DONE WITH A BILLION DOLLARS? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU COULD HAVE FED? WELL..... I don't either but I am sure its a lot! With 400,000 sqft you could live in a different 10,000sqft floor every year for the next 40 years and that would still be too much space. Are you just bored? No really help me out... Was building a house this big REALLY necessary? and in Mumbai no less? you could have eliminated the slums of city with this kind of money - wouldn't that have been a slightly better use of your money for equal plublicity.... okay okay you might not have made it on "Who Built this Shit" but that probably wouldn't be the end of the world.... Who Built this SHIT!
Every now and then a story comes along that just makes me laugh. This is definitely one of those times! This building BURNS people - okay its not that funny, sorry but actually it is! If you are sitting pool side in Las Vegas at this hotel you get extra heat due to a reflection off the curved glass facade. The heat has been measured at 160 degrees! Yes we have a bunch of sitting ducks! Vegas is already as hot as hell - add to that the death ray and a few margaritas and it is literally death by architecture.
Look at this picture! it is a plastic bag with the name of the hotel SINGED right into it! I do not make this stuff up, the actual building reflection melted through this bag. Talk about branding - this marketing department took that term a bit too literally, Wait a minute - Maybe it is GENIUS, I never thought of using the actual building to brand my clients - Ha ha ha.... I wonder if anyone has actually gotten a burn with the name on their back- that would be awesome! Numerous guests have complained about the problem and the folks that work there jokingly call it the "Death Ray". I wonder how Venturi would categorize this new Strip Phenomenon, you have the duck, the billboard and now drum roll please..... the Laser- Think it will catch on? Maybe I can have a symposium at Yale about it! Come on folks you can allocate some of the project budget to shade structures at the pool.... Who Built This Shit!
Seriously? What THE??!#@$#%@#% is that... AHHHH its in Dubai... for some reason logic has never applied to Dubai. This is the only city in the world that would dare design a building that looks like a giant Turbine, then seek LEED certification for it and the TURBINE DOESNT EVEN WORK! no shit. The turbine is actually a floating restaurant. I do not jest. To bad I already used my Eye of Sauron reference. Oh hell - lets use it again....
It works right? pretty close match... so now we know the secret - The countries with the oil have the RING! CRAP! It is astonishing that Dubai has continued down this road. Apparently this building was slated to be the tallest building in the world (Frodo wouldn't expect any less) but it was canceled in 2008 because of the recession... I found one source that says it is now back on but don't hold me to it. My Precious! Who Builds This Shit!
You have to wonder, you really do. So we are in a recession now and have been for YEARS. In that time you have seen thousands of really good architects lose their jobs and beg for work. We used to work for practically nothing but since the recession happened we have been known to work for free - even if we have years of experience and are licensed and are assuming liability and on and on and on... All of this just makes me wonder - why in a BUYERS market when there are MYRIADS of great architects working for next to nothing do homeowners still choose to hire home designers that are this bad! Hire an Architect folks! I cannot describe to you how much this "home" insults my senses. It is REALLY BAD!!! The sad thing is the colors are okay colors just not placed in the way they placed them and seriously people what is the deal with this ski chalet window treatment? and what the F is this stupid little chimney tower with windows ... i get it you were trying to fix your AWFUL elevation so you stuck a hat on it... did you not realize that the problems were much more fundamental... you would think there would be better NEW construction in a recession - its cheap to hire Architects and its cheap to get things built - there is just no accounting for taste i guess -I blame the client on this one too - you know they requested half of this shit from some bad grocery stand magazine that offered crap advice for $3.99- WHO BUILT THIS SHIT!!!!
This is AWESOME... They tried to build this shit but it didn't work. This is a hotel in Pyongyang, North Korea apparently it was never finished and has sat there as an eyesore since the 80's. I LOVE THIS!!!
"In 1987, Baikdoosan Architects and Engineers put its first shovel into the ground and more than twenty years later, after North Korea poured more than two percent of its gross domestic product to building this monster, the hotel remains unoccupied, unopened, and unfinished."
You have to read the whole story that was in esquire here. The best part about this building are all these renderings I found online, people love this building obviously ha ha ha ha! Who TRIES to Build this SHIT!
This video is even better:
As Esquire so elegantly puts it: "The Demolition S How video by the Italian architects Extraneo might not be as conceptual as Ryugyong.org, but this piece of architectural porn sure is fun to watch. The video (which you can watch above) was mounted as part of the exhibition Fiction Pyongyang, curated in part by Stefano Boeri, who also collected 120 speculative designs for the hotel in the June 2006 domus magazine. The designs, he says, "have forced it to reveal its icy nature, its irresistible fascination as a fragile alien meteorite." The worst building in the world is also, we now know, "the only built piece of science fiction in the contemporary world." And it's true. Demolition S How is all Blade Runner-style flying ads and soaring concrete, and the video reminds us that the worst building in the world is the closest humans have come to building a Death Star."
Ever wonder what is bigger than a wal-mart or a super wal-mart? The wal-mart distribution center of central texas.... you could house a small country in this building. My camera couldn't even fit the entire building into the shot. Remember the scene in the Raiders of the Lost Arc when they are filing away the Arc of the covenant into the secret government big box that goes on and on and on filled with all the mysteries of the world... this building is filled with all the mysteries of consumption! Who Builds this shit? oh yah - CHINA! I bet this building is even prefab from China and is just as disposable as the crap that it houses. Who buys this shit!
This building actually has a crown! it is the anointed one! I wonder if all the little buildings bow down to this one when no one is looking? This is like the post modern crown of thorns! Let's get a better look at that crown....
ooooh i get it now its a control tower! it must be the control tower for that 17 lane freeway it hoovers over (no shit! 17 lanes!everything is bigger in texas!but thats a whole other story) it is hard to show in pictures just how grotesque this crown is in person... i haven't even seen it at night - i bet it beacons to guide the way to folks driving in California who's navigation system fails.... Maybe its the ONSTAR headquarters! Who built this Shit!
I have loved this building for a long time. I jest. I really just wish I can catch it transforming! I know for a fact that when you are not watching it transforms into a robot and walks around the suburbs searching for a Walmart big box to dance with... This image is a bit blurry but the white material is actually marble it is some kind of Po-Mo classical interpretation, in theory the president of the company sits in the golden seat behind the "face"... why do people feel the need to add makeup to a building? why do you need to dress it up with geometric patterns - the 80s motif is not a classic one folks - Maybe the architects thought it would transform into a better looking building? We can only hope! Who builds this SHIT!
I am agnostic. Which means I believe there is "God" out there I just don't believe in organized Religion. When you go to Europe though, the Cathedrals are so beautiful and inspiring you can't help but believe, that is how they were designed to inspire awe, to draw your eye up and make you feel something inside. This is just sad. I am not one to mess with people's religions, so please don't get mad I am only speaking about the building - GHHEHEEEEEZZZZ It's not like parishioners are approaching on donkeys anymore granted, they are driving 75 on a freeway, but come on! Can't the building be inspirational AT ALL? While European cathedrals inspire holiness this just makes me think of Walmart the big box religion of America. And like Walmart this building just promotes the ideal that bigger is better - I would argue for quality over quantity doesn't a house of God deserve that at least. Who Builds This Shit?
This is a rendering of the USA Pavilion for the Shanghai World Expo. This was submitted to us from a concerned reader. They were concerned for the following reasons:
1. This USA Pavilion was designed by a Canadian Architect. We love our Canadian neighbors but this is the USA pavilion - shouldn't it be designed by a USA architect?
2. Other country pavilions are so much cooler! Expo's should be a place where the best of the best is shown... such a missed opportunity. Check it out!
I dont know what I am looking at, but these two structures are FREAKING COOL! Why is the USA Pavilion at the top of the page so LAME! Obviously, this is not a case of architects having clients that lacked vision - the USA Pavilion is a case of an American developer who somehow got the contract that only had a vision of cash! That's the only excuse I can think of...
Nothing says welcome like entering through a GIANT SHITTER! As one of our readers so elegantly put it: "Some people call it the toilet seat building, some people call it a stargate. Whatever it is, it makes me cringe everytime I see it." Is it a billboard or is it a duck - Venturi would ask - Maybe it is the the Kimberly-Clark headquarters and it is really a duck. Though we have to explore the Stargate alien angle as well. Maybe aliens are following suit from Men in Black and hiding their spaceships in the last place we would look, right under our noses. In that case maybe this building will just disappear one day! Who Built This Shitter?
Funny but no - the Architect was not jailed for having designed such an ugly building but rather for sending fake bills to the county for the design services! unbelievable...i cant make this stuff up! a bad designer and a thief - the funny thing about this building is the dome (one of the funny things)... They tilt their hats to the New Mexico culture by making the building brown, they use some local stone, square everything up and then put a DOME on top of it! come on guys just because it is a federal building DOES NOT MEAN IT NEEDS A DOME! They tried to cover the building up after the fact by getting the biggest flag they could find but it wouldn't cover much. Who Builds This Shit!
Every time I drive past this "building" I imagine myself jumping out of an airplane with a giant needle and popping this "bubble", like out of some 007 movie. Since when is something that requires an air pump not a code violation? I wonder what the building permit said - Inflatable Structure, Bubble Building, Air Architecture, Plastic Fantastic.... ? The irony is this is a training facility for the University of Texas Longhorns - they are rich! and they build a bubble building - I hope none of those fans hit this building with those longhorns it could pop - Hook 'em Horns (just not in this "building"). Maybe its not a building but an escape pod, you unhook it and sail away in the event of a natural disaster like an Ark! That makes more sense - NOT! Who Builds This Shit?
I have a little pocket book called "The Observers Guide to Architecture" Its a beautiful little book meant to help people interpret and understand the architectural elements they see while out and about. I decided to turn to my book to help me interpret this building since it appears to have classical elements. According to my little book the windows in the tower portion are reminiscent of the Early English Period whereby, and I quote : "The desirability of making some sort of hood to prevent driving rain from running down the face of the building into the window was realized, and this gave the builders the idea of coupling the groups of windows together and finally of punching holes through the blank spaces left between the hood mouldings and the lancets." It would seem that the modern interpretation of this notion is to NOT EVEN PUNCH the openings! Genius - by not having openings in the wall and leaving them all bricked up the architect has successfully avoided the problem of rain entering the building. Who builds this Shit?
Condos have a tendency to pop up like mushrooms, and like mushrooms some of them can kill you. Okay they wont kill you but they can be pretty DAMN UGLY! I missed the day in architecture school where we were told to use 10 different materials in place of good design, has anyone else noticed this lately? It is just too easy to splash materials on a Sketchup model - wait a minute these actually ARE Sketchup materials!!! Maybe we should solicit Google to have a better material pallet for Sketchup it might help some of these developers... (yes i blame the developers not the architects on this one). Who builds this Shit?
Ouch... Really? Is this the best we can do? No wonder people are scared of Contemporary Architecture. This one is painful on many levels... Maybe if I squint my eyes it will look better? Nope that didn't do it. So people are trying to make "Contemporary" Architecture huh - Well listen up people, putting warehouse metal siding on a house does not make it contemporary! And look above the front door, notice anything funny? yup that's right you see it correctly- it is a pending lawsuit! See how the entry portico slopes INTO the building on two sides! GENIUS! I'm not even going to mention the massing, window placement, color pallet, roof etc etc etc... Who built this shit!
Granted this one has not been built yet. But it was submitted to us with a plea to help stop this shit from getting built! Is this seriously the future of Health Care? What exactly does this image say? It says that health care really is about money and not actual care. It looks like a bad retail strip mall not a state of the art health facility... Great image to project guys! You can buy shoes or have a bypass! Who Builds This Shit!
The Domain in Austin Texas could be anyWHERE. It could be anyWHEN. Is it brick? Is it wood? Is it a scale model? Is this really responsible urbanism? okay okay okay we will give it some props - it combines the "Live" with the "Work"... but that does not get it off the hook - What is it with the 50 materials on one surface, did they think you wouldn't notice it was all built in a week not over a period of years? Did they think you wouldn't notice that if you huffed and you puffed you could blow it all down? What happened to integrity of materials? HELL What happened to integrity at all? Who Built This Shit?
This blog is dedicated to all the good architects (or folks who think they are good) out there who for whatever reason are unable to create their architectural masterpieces and who spend day after day PISSED OFF to see CRAP being built ALL AROUND THEM!!! Who Builds this SHIT?
Shit man! and I thought if I went into residential architecture I wouldn't get to work on big projects - HA take a look at what the 4th richest many in the world built for himself in downtown Mumbai. How do you do laundry in a house like this....oh yah - you don't, you are rich you don't DO anything but make money from your money.... and play with buildings as if they are tinker toys! Aren't you dying to know the value of this Home? 1 billion dollars! Even Dr. Evil drools over this one. Let me say that again with gusto.... 1,000,000,000 DOLLARS.... man gotta love excess... okay you don't... HEY RICH DUDE!!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU COULD HAVE DONE WITH A BILLION DOLLARS? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU COULD HAVE FED? WELL..... I don't either but I am sure its a lot! With 400,000 sqft you could live in a different 10,000sqft floor every year for the next 40 years and that would still be too much space. Are you just bored? No really help me out... Was building a house this big REALLY necessary? and in Mumbai no less? you could have eliminated the slums of city with this kind of money - wouldn't that have been a slightly better use of your money for equal plublicity.... okay okay you might not have made it on "Who Built this Shit" but that probably wouldn't be the end of the world.... Who Built this SHIT!
