Hail the King!

This building actually has a crown!  it is the anointed one!  I wonder if all the little buildings bow down to this one when no one is looking? This is like the post modern crown of thorns!  Let's get a better look at that crown....

ooooh i get it now its a control tower! it must be the control tower for that 17 lane freeway it hoovers over (no shit! 17 lanes!everything is bigger in texas!but thats a whole other story)  it is hard to show in pictures just how grotesque this crown is in person... i haven't even seen it at night - i bet it beacons to guide the way to folks driving in California who's navigation system fails.... Maybe its the ONSTAR headquarters! Who built this Shit!

Transformer Building?

 

I have loved this building for a long time. I jest.  I really just wish I can catch it transforming! I know for a fact that when you are not watching it transforms into a robot and walks around the suburbs searching for a Walmart big box to dance with... This image is a bit blurry but the white material is actually marble it is some kind of Po-Mo classical interpretation, in theory the president of the company sits in the golden seat behind the "face"...  why do people feel the need to add makeup to a building? why do you need to dress it up with geometric patterns - the 80s motif is not a classic one folks - Maybe the architects thought it would transform into a better looking building? We can only hope! Who builds this SHIT!

Holy Big Box Batman!

I am agnostic. Which means I believe there is  "God" out there I just don't believe in organized Religion.  When you go to Europe though, the Cathedrals are so beautiful and inspiring you can't help but believe, that is how they were designed to inspire awe, to draw your eye up and make you feel something inside. This is just sad.  I am not one to mess with people's religions, so please don't get mad I am only speaking about the building - GHHEHEEEEEZZZZ It's not like parishioners are approaching on donkeys anymore granted, they are driving 75 on a freeway, but come on! Can't the building be inspirational AT ALL? While European cathedrals inspire holiness this just makes me think of Walmart the big box religion of America. And like Walmart this building just promotes the ideal that bigger is better - I would argue for quality over quantity doesn't a house of God deserve that at least.  Who Builds This Shit?

World Expo USA Pavilion? So Sad...

This is a rendering of the USA Pavilion for the Shanghai World Expo.  This was submitted to us from a concerned reader.  They were concerned for the following reasons:
1. This USA Pavilion was designed by a Canadian Architect.  We love our Canadian neighbors but this is the USA pavilion - shouldn't it be designed by a USA architect?
2. Other country pavilions are so much cooler! Expo's should be a place where the best of the best is shown... such a missed opportunity.  Check it out!

I dont know what I am looking at, but these two structures are FREAKING COOL! Why is the USA Pavilion at the top of the page so LAME! Obviously, this is not a case of architects having clients that lacked vision - the USA Pavilion is a case of an American developer who somehow got the contract that only had a vision of cash! That's the only excuse I can think of...

Who builds this shit!

Who Built This SHITTER?

Nothing says welcome like entering through a GIANT SHITTER! As one of our readers so elegantly put it: "Some people call it the toilet seat building, some people call it a stargate.  Whatever it is, it makes me cringe everytime I see it."  Is it a billboard or is it a duck - Venturi would ask -  Maybe it is the the Kimberly-Clark headquarters and it is really a duck.  Though we have to explore the Stargate alien angle as well.  Maybe aliens are following suit from Men in Black and hiding their spaceships in the last place we would look, right under our noses.  In that case maybe this building will just disappear one day! Who Built This Shitter?

Architect Jailed For Ugly Building

 Funny but no - the Architect was not jailed for having designed such an ugly building but rather for sending fake bills to the county for the design services! unbelievable...i cant make this stuff up! a bad designer and a thief - the funny thing about this building is the dome (one of the funny things)... They tilt their hats to the New Mexico culture by making the building brown, they use some local stone, square everything up and then put a DOME on top of it! come on guys just because it is a federal building DOES NOT MEAN IT NEEDS A DOME! They tried to cover the building up after the fact by getting the biggest flag they could find but it wouldn't cover much. Who Builds This Shit!

"The Bubble"

Every time I drive past this "building"  I imagine myself jumping out of an airplane with a giant needle and popping this "bubble", like out of some 007 movie.  Since when is something that requires an air pump not a code violation? I wonder what the building permit said - Inflatable Structure, Bubble Building, Air Architecture, Plastic Fantastic.... ? The irony is this is a training facility for the University of Texas Longhorns - they are rich! and they build a bubble building - I hope none of those fans hit this building with those longhorns it could pop - Hook 'em Horns (just not in this "building").  Maybe its not a building but an escape pod, you unhook it and sail away in the event of a natural disaster like an Ark! That makes more sense - NOT! Who Builds This Shit?

Classical Office Building Revival

I have a little pocket book called "The Observers Guide to Architecture" Its a beautiful little book meant to help people interpret and understand the architectural elements they see while out and about.  I decided to turn to my book to help me interpret this building since it appears to have classical elements.  According to my little book the windows in the tower portion are reminiscent of the Early English Period whereby, and I quote :  "The desirability of making some sort of hood to prevent driving rain from running down the face of the building into the window was realized, and this gave the builders the idea of coupling the groups of windows together and finally of punching holes through the blank spaces left between the hood mouldings and the lancets."  It would seem that the modern interpretation of this notion is to NOT EVEN PUNCH the openings! Genius - by not having openings in the wall and leaving them all bricked up the architect has successfully avoided the problem of rain entering the building.  Who builds this Shit?

Condo-monium

Condos have a tendency to pop up like mushrooms, and like mushrooms some of them can kill you.  Okay they wont kill you but they can be pretty DAMN UGLY!  I missed the day in architecture school where we were told to use 10 different materials in place of good design, has anyone else noticed this lately? It is just too easy to splash materials on a Sketchup model - wait a minute these actually ARE Sketchup materials!!! Maybe we should solicit Google to have a better material pallet for Sketchup it might help some of these developers... (yes i blame the developers not the architects on this one). Who builds this Shit?

The new Modernism - Really?

Ouch... Really? Is this the best we can do? No wonder people are scared of Contemporary Architecture. This one is painful on many levels... Maybe if I squint my eyes it will look better? Nope that didn't do it. So people are trying to make "Contemporary" Architecture huh - Well listen up people, putting warehouse metal siding on a house does not make it contemporary!  And look above the front door, notice anything funny? yup that's right you see it correctly- it is a pending lawsuit!  See how the entry portico slopes INTO the building on two sides! GENIUS! I'm not even going to mention the massing, window placement, color pallet, roof etc etc etc... Who built this shit!

The New Face of Health Care?

Granted this one has not been built yet. But it was submitted to us with a plea to help stop this shit from getting built! Is this seriously the future of Health Care? What exactly does this image say? It says that health care really is about money and not actual care. It looks like a bad retail strip mall not a state of the art health facility... Great image to project guys! You can buy shoes or have a bypass! Who Builds This Shit!

The Developers Dream

The Domain in Austin Texas could be anyWHERE. It could be anyWHEN. Is it brick? Is it wood? Is it a scale model? Is this really responsible urbanism? okay okay okay we will give it some props - it combines the "Live" with the "Work"... but that does not get it off the hook - What is it with the 50 materials on one surface, did they think you wouldn't notice it was all built in a week not over a period of years? Did they think you wouldn't notice that if you huffed and you puffed you could blow it all down? What happened to integrity of materials? HELL What happened to integrity at all? Who Built This Shit?

Who Built This SHIT?

This blog is dedicated to all the good architects (or folks who think they are good) out there who for whatever reason are unable to create their architectural masterpieces and who spend day after day PISSED OFF to see CRAP being built ALL AROUND THEM!!! Who Builds this SHIT?